Faux Fried Rice

Ingredients for Chinese Faux Fried Rice (One of the Many Faux Rice Variations)

I was very skeptical when I first read about faux fried rice on nomnompaleo, which is a really interesting paleo blog, but it actually tastes amazing and very close to rice. The basis of the recipe is cauliflower chopped up in a food processor to simulate a fake rice look and texture. Personally, I think a more accurate description would be faux cous cous because the cauliflower bits you’re left with are very small. You can add pretty much anything (or nothing) to the chopped cauliflower for your dish (so it can be as simple or as complicated as you want). Below are some recipes I’ve come up with (modifying the basic idea that I got from Nomnompaleo). The first recipe is just a basic faux white rice, and the second is a Chinese fried rice (there’s a Thai version too). Countless other variations are possible!

Basic Faux White Rice (serves 2 adults)

• Half a large cauliflower
• Half a yellow onion
• 2 eggs
• 4 cloves of garlic
• 2 tablespoons of coconut oil (or some other oil or butter)
• Salt to taste

1. Chop the cauliflower and onion into small chunks so that it’ll fit into the food processor. Place the chopped cauliflower and onion and the garlic into the food processor with the S-shaped (sabatier) blade and chop until everything is in tiny bits.
2. Pour 2 tablespoons of the oil into a pan (any pan will do as long as it’ll fit all the ingredients in).
3. Heat the pan on a medium heat.
4. After 1 minute, add in all the food processed ingredients. Squeeze out excess liquid (mostly from the onions) if the food processed ingredients seem too soggy.
5. Leave the pan with the ingredients in it for 2 minutes. Then crack the two eggs and add them into the pan. Stir the eggs immediately in with the other ingredients so that it doesn’t form large lumps.
6. Continue cooking on a medium heat for another 10 minutes stirring every few minutes.
7. Add salt to taste.
8. Ready to serve. You can have the rice by itself, with some soy sauce, with stir-fried vegetables or meat, or basically with anything you want to have rice with.

Chinese Faux Fried Rice (for Thai Fried Rice, switch the green onions and cilantro for basil)

• Half a large cauliflower
• Half a yellow onion
• 4 green onions (or spring onions or scallions)
• A cup of cilantro leaves (a large handful if you scrunch it up) – try to cut off most of the stalks
• 2 eggs
• 4 cloves of garlic
• Half an inch cube of ginger
• Roast beef chopped into small pieces (I use the slow cooker roast beef because it’s already very flavorful)
• 2 tablespoons of coconut oil (or some other oil or butter)
• Salt and soy sauce to taste

Raw Ingredients in Frying Pan

1. Chop the cauliflower, onion, and green onion into small pieces so that it’ll fit into the food processor. Place the chopped cauliflower, onion, and green onions and the garlic and ginger into the food processor with the S-shaped (sabatier) blade chop.
2. Pour 2 tablespoons of the oil into a pan (any pan will do as long as it’ll fit all the ingredients in).
3. Heat the pan on a medium heat.
4. After 1 minute, add in all the food processed ingredients. Squeeze out excess liquid (from the onions and cilantro) if the food processed ingredients seem too soggy.
5. Leave the pan with the ingredients in it for 2 minutes. Then crack the two eggs and add them into the pan. Stir the eggs immediately in with the other ingredients so that it doesn’t form large lumps.
6. Continue cooking on a medium heat for another 10 minutes stirring every few minutes.
7. Add the chopped up roast beef and stir.
8. Add salt and soy sauce to taste.
9. Ready to serve.

Ready to Serve Chinese Faux Fried Rice